Sometimes the people I talk to ask me questions back, like when I called an apartment last week. 

ME: Do you take pets?
WOMAN: Yes. Do you have a dog or cat?

I’m more of a dog person, but a pretend dog is too much responsibility, so I went with cat. 

ME: A cat. Definitely a cat.
WOMAN: That’s nice. What’s your cat’s name? 

Uh-oh. No one asked me that one before. Time for the Improv King to show his stuff. 

ME: Um, S-S-S-S-Sprinkes? 

Crap. 

WOMAN: Oh, that’s so cute!
ME: Yeah…. 

About a week later, I called a different apartment, and the woman asked me what my name is. 

ME: J-J-J-J-Jason
HER: Tenacious? 

I corrected her and instantly regretted it. I should have rolled with it. “Yeah, my name’s Tenacious. Last name D. And I’m gonna ROCK YOU OUT!”

I promised not to install any new programs on the laptop, so I’m using the pre-installed browser, Internet Explorer 6. If web browsers were people, the way the web treats Internet Explorer 6 would break my heart. 

• “You’re using a old and buggy browser. Switch to a normal browser or consider upgrading your Internet Explorer to the latest version.” (My blog. I’m sorry, IE6. I didn’t know my template was a bigot.) 
• “Hold up! Using IE6 makes babies cry, and Slickdeals very sad!” (slickdeals.net)

 Not to mention IE6’s other enemies, such as the ENTIRE COUNTRY OF NORWAY.

Technology is a harsh, cruel world. Many movies, television shows, and music live a second life decades later as nostalgia’s tendrils tug at the heart strings. But while I have fond remembrances of using 5 ¼ floppy disks, and having to hold CTRL-ALT-(dash) upon booting to put my computer in “turbo” mode (10 MHz, for those who could handle the speed), I’m not sure I’ll ever feel nostalgic about IE6 or any of the other software and hardware I use today. 

For something to become nostalgic, it has to be in your life long enough for you to develop an attachment to it. Technology is changing faster and faster though, and soon, I think none of the tools we use will stick around long enough for us to develop an emotional connection to them.   

This isn’t a bad or good change. There are plenty of other things in life to feel nostalgic about. And if there aren’t, we can always feel nostalgic for nostalgia.

Extra nerd bonus: Go Ben! That is all.

Sorry, dyslexia popped up again. Meant to say, “A tuxedo is not made of a bow tie and leather snap-on pants.” 

If “Deuce Bigelow 3: Still Jigglin!” wins Best Picture next year, and let us pray that it does, I hope the director’s acceptance speech includes the line, “I look forward to the day where we don’t need to put male before gigolo.” I can honestly say I will cry with happiness if that moment happens.

* NPR’s 4:00 news promo was about a story on home remedies. “Coming up at 4:20.” We know exactly what you mean, NPR hippies.

* I think the big reveal at the end of LOST will be that the entire series was an extended, six-year promo for Hot Tub Time Machine.

* Next episode drinking game: take a shot every time a character says “I want answers!” Sometimes the dialog in LOST sounds like it is written by copying and pasting from Internet message boards. HURLEY: “D00Z tell US what’s going on!!!”

*The opening melody to Oh! Centra (and the whole song) is great.

I know it’s cheesy to write a “Life’s like puppies and candles!” post, but these days don’t come often, so I want to appreciate it while it’s here.

70 Million by Hold Your Horses ! from L’Ogre on Vimeo.

Other stuff I’m listening to: I just downloaded the first half of “Fang Island” on a whim and am liking it tons. It’s electric guitar-heavy music balanced by a peppy, upbeat vibe. I’m listening to it as I type and the album’s exuberance is making me smile.

1. The Blob.  A Jello mold with Peeps stuck inside it, and a Peep in the clutches of one of The Blob’s two tentacles.

2. Peepo Jima. The raising of the American Flag on Iwo Jima with Peeps.

3. Peep Roulette. A take-off of Chat Roulette, the Internet service that randomly connects to another stranger with a web cam. The diorama would have been a Peep sitting in a chair in front of his computer with his pants down.

After deliberating for a while, I felt that all of these ideas were too derivative and didn’t fully express my creative powers . So I scrapped them all, brainstormed for a few hours, and finally came up with this submission. I can’t say it’s a guaranteed winner, but I’m pretty confident I’m in the running for the top 3.