I’m a hit whore, okay?
Here is a poll for this Wednesday’s third Presidential debate between President Bush and Sen. Kerry. If I were a search engine spider looking for an online poll about the third presidential debate that people could vote on , I sure would consider this one, which is free of popular, inflammatory words like Bush bashing or Kerry sucks.
I’ve stopped neurotically checking my server logs long ago, but periodically I’ll log in to see if any new “citizens” have “moved” into Pancake City or just “stopped by” on the Pancake City Metro so they could “pee” on the “guard rails.”
Occasionally, I’ll find a link from a respected colleague in the blogosphere that makes the 10 min. of toil and trouble every day worth it. With that in mind, I’d like to give a big Hidey-Ho to my new buddies at:
http://1st-in-costumes.com/Costume-Resources/ fake-breasts-halloween-costume.html .
As any of my long-time readers can tell you, when you’re searching for the perfect DD bat-imprint brassiere, there’s only one place to go, and that’s the mayor’s closet of Pancake City.
While checking my server logs, I saw that someone found the site through I-love-dogs.com. “Huh. I guess I got in their database after one of their spiders scanned a post about my experiences as a dog walker.” Not exactly.
That guy still hasn’t taken down the pants song. I’m taking applications for guest mp3s. Application is too formal of a word–record yourself, email it to me, and if it meets my high standards (i.e. no fart jokes) I’ll put it up. Maybe if enough people do this, I’ll put out a CD.
Dear person who found this site searching for “who+told+you+you+could+eat+my+cookies”:
Arnold, Gray Davis told me I could eat your cookies. And guess what? Davis just passed a 47% cookie tax…on high-faluting, fancy cookies. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. Because of you, he’s a man with nothing left to use. Tomorrow: 117% increase on car models with ‘mm’ in its name. Bummer, huh? Also, if you compare tax dollars to cookies beforehand, this would make a great line in a debate: “I have one thing to say to Gray Davis. Who told you you could eat my cookies?”
Dear people who found this site searching for “mo+rocca+pictures”, “pictures+of+mo+rocca”, and “mo+rocca+gay”:
1. I don’t know if he’s gay. Really. I don’t. I checked the guidebook. He’s not listed.
2. Are you sure you’re not looking for porn star Mo Cocca?
3. Well, OK then. If you’re going to come here anyway, you might as well get what you’re looking for.
Dear people(!) who found this site searching for “poop+on+a+pancake”:
I can’t believe I’m doing this.
For those of you that I don’t know, how did you find out about this site?
a) Fascinated with 1words.com through 1000words.com. Decided to take a chance.
b) Saw URL on tattoo (or “tat”).
c) Guy with spiked tail and pitchfork told me. Said his name was Jesus. He talked the talk.
d) Mistyped “mancakecity.com”. I want my man cake!
e) Looking for hot “aimal sex“. Decided lukewarm comedy okay substitute.
f) (None of the above) ________________
I have 15,000 MB of bandwidth to use per month. I barely use 500 MB. Any suggestions on how I should use the rest? I feel like I have paid utilities and I’m shutting off the shower before I leave the apartment. What a waste. Anyone know any orphans whose Flash-laden web site needs a home and plenty of bandwidth to eat? Maybe I should cave in to the people looking for “sexy pancake” and “aimal sex” and host Jason’s Sexy Pancake Woman Sex With Aimal Site (Hose, Donky, you name it)
Anyone want to explain to me why someone, nay, multiple people, would search for “sexy pancake”?
Thanks to db’s monitoring blog and Everybody Got Their Something for the links. Although I neurotically check my server logs, the system I’m on rarely picks up where traffic is coming from, so let me know if I missed you.
During my hourly, neurotic checking of my server log, I noticed that Sammy of Digital Flotsam posted a link to my site. Thanks deeee-ude.
Search terms people are using to find this site:
white wings pancake
le bling bling de eminem
how to make your own erotic cakes
pictures of me having sex with the horse
karl frinkle
elephant with a pancake on it’s head
why eat boogers
do you have free picture of person that are gay and there are singer
i need a wig and two new thumbs
infinity symbol bumper stickers
email addresses for jojo
bling bling for the wrist
pancakes of brazil
Karl Frinkle I get. But le bling bling de eminem?
Thanks to tusultusest and Paste Punk for the recent links to Pancake City.
I can’t wait until I become big enough so I can stop thanking other writers. Be warned, little people! The second I get a sliver of popularity, I’m buying a bottle of scotch and forgetting all of you. Plus my roots. And my family–especially my family. That’s right Mom. The love and support you’ve shown me for 26 years isn’t going to mean jack once the bling bling rolls in. Enjoy the biweekly phone calls while they last.
“Jason Walther sure is a sexy beast” said Fred Flair, head of the Internation Committee on Sexiness.
…
(This is for the search engines. It’s a small step towards my dream of being able to tell people, “If you want to find me on the Internet, search for sexy beast.” There are currently 87,900 hits for ‘sexy beast’ on Google. Current beast factor: Prepubescent slug.)
Thanks to Spam-o-Matic and Todd’s Web Page for linking to me recently. I’m going to start the practice of periodically mentioning people who link to Pancake City. My web server is flaky, so let me know if I left you out.
So I was talking about horse sex sites with my friend (it’s a weekly conversation) when he forwarded me this site, www.sex-with-horse.aimalsex.com.
You know how when you’re excited you may type an email to a friend really fast, and right after you click the send button you realize you misspelled a word? That’s what happened to this guy. Except it was a domain name. About horse sex. What type of person loses the ability to spell when confronted with the possibility of horse whoopie? What newspaper does he read? What does he eat for breakfast? Does he pick out the horseshoes from his Lucky Charms? Put sugar cubes in his Cheerios? [This is for the search engines: horse sex cheerios, horse sex cheerios, horse sex cheerios]
The worst part is that the word isn’t even necessary. Sex.with.horse? What type of sex is that? Oh, aimal sex. Now I get it.
And shouldn’t it be sex with horses? Who wants to risk the embarrassment of a spouse typing “sexy-surpise-for-your-lover” and having “sex-with-horse-aimal.com” fill in before he or she gets to the ‘y’, just for one horse? Three or four horses, or one talking horse, I can understand, but one plain horse? Pornography isn’t immoral. It’s illiterate.
Okay, no more horse jokes. I promise.
