May 28, 2003 at 1:34 am
· Filed under crime, list, religion
A suspected serial killer of women in Louisiana was caught today.
Said one of his neighbors who was shocked to find out he was arrested: “He didn’t talk about violence,” said resident Brenda Jones. “He talked about the Bible a lot. Let me tell you, he knew the Bible.”
Signs Your Neighbor Is A Serial Killer
by Brenda Jones
1. Talks about violence. “You know what I’d like to do now? Kill someone.” –> SERIAL KILLER!
2. Doesn’t talk about the Bible.
EVIL:”Hey, what’s up?”
GOOD: “Hey, what’s up? Oh wait, I know. It’s God.”
3. That is it.
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May 19, 2003 at 5:24 pm
· Filed under comedy, crime
On the toilet today, I had a vision of Carrot Top in court, charged for crimes against comedy. He lost. The judge grabbed his oak gavel, leaned over the bench and said, “Mr. Top, before I sentence you, do you have anything to say for yourself? Carrot Top looked at the gavel and thought, “I could use that in my act. I’ll call it ‘Ghetto pest control’. ” Then he broken down in tears and sobbed, “Oh, god. I need help.” A trail of mascara fell down his cheek. Then I wiped my ass.
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December 31, 1969 at 8:00 pm
· Filed under crime, media
Two weeks ago, a few inmates at an Arizona prison took a female and male corrections officer hostage. The stand-off ended today.
In the meantime, I happened to read three or four articles with brief updates about the situation. It struck me as odd that none of the articles, including the most recent one, mentions what the inmates wanted, or why they took the officers hostage in the first place. That’s just basic reporting. Even if the demands of the inmates aren’t known, one would still expect a sentence or two along the lines of “the prisoners have made no demands” or “Chief Police Dude passed on commenting on the prisoners’ demands.”
Who, what, when, where, why. Did the reporter doze off before reaching the end of the journalistic mantra? The absence of the why in this story is glaringly conspicous.
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