We live in an age of forgetting.
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This Poster Does A Body Good
Feb 18th
I couldn’t concentrate in my sketch writing class last Sunday. Our usual classroom was taken, so we went downstairs to the school cafeteria. On the wall was this poster: More >
Best Ads of the Decade
Nov 24th
I clicked on a link that brought up a seven-minute long video and thought: “Seven minutes! I can’t focus for that long.”
Internet, I thank ye. I wish I were joking. I’ve noticed in the past year or two I scan instead of read more, I’m reluctant to watch anything longer than a 22-minute TV show, and most of what I read nowadays (when I do read) is short stories and magazine articles.
So I was delighted when Adweek provided this opportunity to waste my time on one-minute chunks: The Best Non-Superbowl Ads of the Decade.
I watched them all. Comments:
Most Technically Amazing (tie)
Phillips “Carousel”
Honda “Cog”
Most Weird in a Good Way
Skittles “Touch”
Most Weird in a Bad Way
Starburst “Bus Station”
Most Dated
Will.i.am. Obama video
Ads I Thought Were Dumb When They First Aired, and Still Do
All the Levi Ads
Best Ad I Haven’t Seen Before
Ikea “Lamp”
Finally, this ad for Gears of War didn’t make the list, but it’s better than the two choices they picked. I bought the song in the ad after hearing it.
Question of the Day
Oct 20th
How did 7-11 see this:
and think, “Let’s put it on this:”?
He does look cute though when he’s not chasing kittens.
(Sorry if the formatting looks messed up. Wordpress auto-removes line breaks.)
Great Ad \ Stuff
Oct 17th
I know I haven’t posted much recently. That probably won’t change for a few weeks, I’m working on a freelance project and I have trouble channeling my creative energy into more than one outlet at a time. Something to work on.
I was on hold with Verizon last night, trying to get our Internet connection fixed. The hold message keeps repeating a web site you can visit to get help. I think the hold message needs to be changed to this: “If you’re experiencing Internet problems, you can always get help at www.OhThatsRightYourInternetIsDown-SorryForKeepTellingYouToVisitOurWebsiteLikeAProstituteTeasingAEunuch.com”
I like this ad:
Yogurt on the Top!
Feb 25th
I bought some of Dannon’s “Fruit on the Bottom!” yogurt. Do you know what words are the exact equivalent of “Fruit on the Bottom”? “We’re Fucking Lazy”. If I saw “We’re Fucking Lazy!” yogurt on the shelf at the grocery store, I’d think, “Hey, the fruit’s on the bottom.” Then I would walk to the fruit aisle, buy some strawberries, and pick up a plain yogurt because at that point, why not add the fruit yourself?
Dannon gets some chutzpah props for marketing a deficiency in their product as a desired feature. Other companies should follow suit. “It’s ‘Bread in a Bag! Each bag comes with 12 stalks of wheat, a hand mill, and disposable chaff bag. Mmm, that’s good Bread in a Bag.”
I wish there were more honesty in marketing. I would love to buy “Ehhh, We Didn’t Feel Like It” yogurt. Ingredients: “I dunno. Fruit. Whatever the machine felt like putting in it.” It can be one of a whole line of products from Slacker Industries.
Did I just come up with a new idea for a business? Oh, I think I did. Now all I have to do is figure out how to get someone to write a business plan for me, and I’m all set.
Free Starbucks Coffee on Nov 4th
Nov 2nd
After you wait in line 2 hours to vote on Nov. 4th, you can wait another hour in line for a free cup of Starbucks coffee. I would prefer to have the coffee while waiting in line to vote. If Starbucks is really committed to democracy, they should put their coffee in a van and drive it to polling places. If they could pick me up along the way, that would be helpful to democracy too.
A list of other free election day stuff here. To save you time, here is a summary: doughnuts and ice-cream.
Be fat. Vote.
Seriously, do you know anyone in a swing state that is flaky about voting? We need to get them to the polls. Promise them you’ll buy them a cup of coffee if they vote. If they find out it was free and complain that you mislead them, tell them “Welcome to the world of politics.” Then promise to make it up by buying them a doughnut and ice-cream.
Last, this video personalization technology is well done.
Obamamercial + Other Stuff
Oct 30th
I feel self-conscious about how often I’ve been writing about politics. I hope I can get back to writing comedy regularly after the election.
Soem random thoughts:
* How many nails in the coffin can one campaign have?
* It must suck to introduce Obama or McCain at a rally and then have to stand next to them the whole time until they finish. What if you doze off or yawn? I’d be fidgeting the whole time.
I had the half-hour Obama infomercial on in the background. I heard it all before, so I found it well-done but boring. Presumably, the target audience was undecided voters who will find most of what Obama said new.
What I found most notable about the infomercial wasn’t the content but the meta-message behind it.
The buildup and execution of the segment followed almost the same pattern as previously hyped events in the campaign, like his trip overseas or his convention speech at Invesco field.
Pre-media chatter that Obama may be over-reaching. (Remember the Greek columns?) Supporters worry about the potential pitfalls. Republican opponent helps feed the media narrative of a mistake waiting to occur. Then the actual event happens, it goes off near flawlessly and exceeds most people’s expectations (based on the Internet chatter so far).
The meta-message is strong and clear: the Obama campaign is good at navigating tricky situations.
His speech on race, his overseas trip, the convention, the debates, the financial crisis–this infomercial is just another data point for that meta-message. A well-run campaign doesn’t guarantee a well-run Presidency, but it’s the closest thing we have to meaningful data. For that reason, the meta-message may end up being more important than the message in this case.
Why Write New Content When You Can Just Link To Other People’s Stuff?
Oct 9th
I am so ready to turn Pancake City into a 100% link blog. Maybe on occasion I’ll Twitter one of my half-formed, 140-character thoughts and post that too (“Memo to sea cow: Express lane means 10 items or less!!!!! OMG WTF?!”)
Anyway, this is a cool ad for a new Wario game from Nintendo.
The “Buy n Large” web site
Jul 6th
Wow. I can’t believe this came from a movie marketing department. It’s the “Buy n Large” web site, the fictional corporate comglomerate in WALL-E. It’s funny, hilarious in parts, but if you didn’t know the site’s connection to WALL-E, you would think it was a creation of a group like “Billionaires for Bush” or the Green Party.
Make sure to check out their privacy policy.
Maybe I was in a bad mood…
Jun 15th
…but this put me in full rant mode when I saw a commercial for it.
It’s Mountain Dew’s “DEWmocracy“. In the commercial, three groups of people are tugging a rope against each other. What are they fighting for? The right to pick a new flavor of Mountain Dew.
I didn’t know one ad campaign could encapsulate so much that is wrong with our culture. It’s like a neutron star of crapiness. What set me off is how completely they co-opted the language, ideas, and spirit of democracy to sell a can of soda.
You want to hold a vote, fine. But “campaign tools” to promote your favorite soft drink? Phrases like “Keep the Movement Alive”? Yeah, you better get off your seat and start helping out. The corporations and media giants that control our society are really trying to squash the grassroots Mountain Dew movement.
A true cynic will argue there’s no difference between selling a product and selling a candidate, but there is. I’ll admit, a lot of the marketing is the same. But behind the marketing, and the usual BS that’s part of politics, there’s still a person there. There is still something real, A can of soda isn’t going to change anyone’s life, much less the future of our country. But for better or worse, a President will.
The message board is as disheartening as one would suspect. Maybe there really isn’t much difference between a soda campaign and a political campaign. A sample of posts:
WHY VOTE?! (Quote: “THEY ALL TASTE SO GOOD”)
Why can’t we have ALL the flavors? (Unity ticket!)
Why ‘Revolution’ is the only logical choice (Political analysis by one of the country’s top minds)
I think we need to stop fighting. (Yes! A message of peace.)
Where Were you when You first Tried the new Dew’s? (“When I heard Kennedy was shot, I driving home on…wait, what???)
“Superhero Movie:” The horror its ad foretells
Apr 4th
I don’t think it’s possible to know whether a movie will be good by an ad in a newspaper. But I do think it’s possible to know whether it will be bad by that ad.
Case study: Superhero Movie, a spoof on superhero movies starring Leslie Nielsen.
Sounds promising, yes? The superhero genre is a rich vein to mine, and Leslie Nielsen is a funny guy. But I fear the movie is absolutely horrible, based solely on an ad for it that I saw in The Washington Post. More >
The Pancake City Ad Campaign Begins
Feb 10th
This summer, HBO is launching “Pancake City” a dramedy based on Pancake City, the blog. The show features six characters navigating the crime, seaminess, and excitement of an unnamed big city. The twist is that syrup plays a critical role in every episode, like in Episode 3, when Blake feels pressure to take on a vice to fit in at work.
Upcoming plot lines:
“Episode 4: The Syrup Serial Killer”. Emerson feels self-conscious about using syrup on his pancakes when the Syrup Serial Killer hits the city.
“Episode 6: The Best Laid Plans of Ants and Men”. Crime boss Italia Italiano becomes furious when she instructs pool boy/henchman Pippy to go shopping for a gift to “sweeten” an upcoming business deal, and he returns with $800 of clothes for himself and a bottle of No-Name syrup for Italia.
Thanks to Meghan for designing the ad. She will also vouch for everything I said here.
Historical Figures Updated for the 21st Century
Oct 24th
Abe Link’in: This web site avatar will connect the myriad places on the web with his steadfast leadership and eloquent RSS summaries, before being shot down by a pop-up ad for Viagra.
George Washington Truth Serum: “I cannot tell a lie”…and neither will those stinking terrorists be able to either when they’re injected with 500mg of G. W. Truth Serum. Claim you’re a legal citizen just trying to run a struggling ethnic restaurant? We’ll see what you have to say after having a talk with our founding father. Warning: may cause irreparable nerve and brain damage.
FDR: Franklin Delanor Roosevelt has a “New Deal” for you: insanely low prices on the 2008 Mazda Miatas and hundreds of other of the latest models. You won’t be able to get up either once you sit in the new 2008 Toyota Prius. What? The already use Presidents to to sell cars? Jeez. What fucking assholes.
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