Pancake City

“Happy Birthday To You,”
“Happy Birthday To You,”
“I’m Feeling Horribly Uncreative Today,”
“Repeat Line One or Two!”

This is pretty funny.

They released a television search engine (limited capabilities for now).

Ten to 20 years from now, when the totality of Google’s business plan comes to fruition, I think they will be regarded as one of the most visionary, important companies, offline or on, to ever exist.

You’ll never guess who’s putting this flyer up in certain swing states. Details here.

I want to start a series of “Where’s Waldo?”-type books for adults called “Find the Answer.” Inside it would be pop-ups of reporters and the White House press secretary, Scott McClellan. From last Wednesday’s press conference:

Q Can I stay on that subject — we need to stay on that subject, briefly. Could you explain to us why the White House requested that the President and Vice President jointly answer questions, as opposed to separately?

MR. McCLELLAN: Well, one, we’ve said from the very beginning that it’s important for the 9/11 Commission to have all the information they need to do their job. And we’ve worked very closely and cooperatively with the 9/11 Commission to make sure they have all that information. We have provided, as the Chairman and Vice Chairman have pointed out, unprecedented access to information from the administration to the 9/11 Commission, including our most sensitive national security documents. And that’s the spirit in which we have worked.

Now, keep in mind that the 9/11 Commission already has more than 2.3 million pages of documents, there have been more than a hundred briefings, and that includes at the head-of-agency level, there have been more than 800 interviews and meetings with administration officials, some 900 audio cassette tapes of meetings and other materials that have been provided to them, and more than 60 compact discs of radar, flight and other information. So they already have a lot of information. And we want to work in a way that helps make sure that they have the information they need.

The commission very much welcomed the decision of the President and the Vice President to sit down together and meet with the entire commission and answer whatever questions they want to raise with the President and Vice President. This is a good way to make sure that they’re getting the information that they need to do their job.

Q Why the specific insistence that they be together? I mean, they could –

MR. McCLELLAN: This is a good way to help them get the information they need and do so in a timely manner. Remember, they’ve already got a lot of the information, they’ve already conducted a lot of the interviews. And what they’re trying to –

Q But they were separate interviews, right?

MR. McCLELLAN: What they’re trying to do is get the information they need to complete their work and provide a full report to the American people. And we are helping every step of the way. And this is a way that will help them move forward in those efforts.

Q But why is the joint session better than separate sessions, which is what they –

MR. McCLELLAN: Well, one, it will help make sure they get that information in a timely manner. They can talk to both of them and help better understand how to piece together all the information that they’ve already received.

There’s a concept in psychology called “locus of control.” It’s the degree of control you feel over your own life. Many people whose stuttering is a disability for them have a strong external locus of control. Stuttering just “happens.” It comes out of nowhere and you can’t do anything about it. On the flip side, a stutterer with a strong internal locus of control thinks he or she can do something about it and improve.

Have you ever had something bad happen early in the day and think, “Geez, my whole day is going to turn out bad”? External locus of control. Don’t believe in luck? Internal locus of control. Ever take a dump so huge that you gathered your friends and lifted the toilet lid like the Lost Ark was inside? That’s just plan sick. And funny. But still sick.

What if your religion influences your locus of control? I may be totally misrepresenting Christian fundamentalists, but it seems that a strict following of the Bible’s words would lead to an external locus of control. The idea of waiting for Jesus to return, or the apocalypse coming, or the criterion for entering heaven is accepting Jesus, and has nothing to do with what you do in life. You could argue that accepting Jesus is a choice you have and represents an internal locus of control, but I think a religion that says you get into heaven by doing good deeds and trying not to sin teaches a much stronger locus of control, because it carries through your entire life, not just one moment.

As an atheist with a strong external locus of control (at least for now), I have no answers. But I toss it out to hear your thoughts.

Coming in Summer 2004

(Movie maker link from little. yellow. different.)

The Washington Post has an editorial on gay marriage today. I prepared to twinge before I read it–newspaper editorial boards aren’t always bastions for progressive thinking–but what they wrote is awesome. It was almost enough to make me renew my daily subscription to the post. Almost. Once they cave in to my demand to include a special “These Comics Suck” page in the comics section–which would include Family Circus, The Wizard of Id, Mark Trail (the days that he’s not punching a poacher) and Ziggy, which isn’t in the Post’s comic page, but would be brought back just for this special occasion–then we can talk.

How long can you go?

“Find a #5 racing decal and win!*”

*Prize: #5 racing decal.

If you do, you’ll absolutely love this video.

I posted a new picture, comedy MP3, and an article, Things You Don’t Want To Hear From Your Doctor.