I still get confused over what’s worse: a storm warning or a storm watch. Usually, watch signals more immediacy than warn. If a car is about to hit your friend, you wouldn’t say “Beware the incoming car,” you’d say “Watch out for that car!” You watch things that are going on in the present, like watching a TV show, and give warnings about things that may happen (“Stomp your feet one more time and I’ll…)

But that’s not how they roll in storm school. A storm warning is more serious than a storm watch. Watch is used to mean “keep an eye out for”, like a guard on the night watch. And warning, as far as I can tell, in storm talk means “You’re about to get fucked.”

By the way, a winter storm warning was just issued for D.C.

I think we need clearer storm warnings. Instead of “storm watch, ” if a storm may hit but we’re not positive it will, it should be “smells like a storm”. Instead of “storm warning”, if a storm will hit but hasn’t hit yet, it should be a “storm a-coming.” And both notices should always be delivered by an unflappable elderly farmer in overalls called Old Pete.

“Hey, Pete. What’s the weather look like tomorrow? Smells like a storm?”
“Oh, I’d say it’s more than a smell. Storm’s a-coming, you can bet your hat on it, I say.”

I’d certainly trust a weather forecaster named Old Pete more than some named Topper Shutt. What the hell’s a Topper? On another note, how soon is it before the D.C. area goes completely ape shit over the amount of snow we’re getting? Overall, people have handled the weather well,