VOICE: Hey, where’s your daily sketch?
ME: This is it.
VOICE: This can’t be your daily sketch. This is a skit about writing a sketch.
ME: Yes, but it’s also a sketch. In fact, I’m going to cast it and put it on YouTube.
VOICE: Whose going to play you?
ME: Me.
VOICE: Walked into that one. And whose going to play a disembodied voice in your head?
ME: Ernest Borgnine.
VOICE: Do you know anything about Ernest Borgnine?
ME: Yes. He was in one of the early episodes of Simpsons.
VOICE: Do you know anything else about him?
ME: Yes. He sounds exactly like this.

ERNEST BORGNINE: I like crackers.

VOICE: You’re making this up. Your entire Ernest Borgnine knowledge consists of one episode of the Simpsons that you saw over fifteen years ago.

ERNEST BORGNINE: Row, Homer, row! I’ve got to get me some Skittles.

VOICE: That’s not even close to the quote. And if people could hear the Borgnine voice in your head right now, they wouldn’t be very impressed.
ME: Yeah, he’s starting to turn into Leslie Nielsen.

ERNEST BORGNINE NIELSEN: And don’t call me sherry.

VOICE: It’s Shirley! Don’t call me Shirley.
ME: Okay, Edna.
EDNA the VOICE: I’m out of here.
ME: See you tomorrow.
VOICE: You want me to tell them what voice you thought of after you changed my name to Edna?
ME: I’d prefer not.

HE-MAN: I HAVE THE POWER!!!

ME: I don’t think the Internet needed to know that.