My roommate and “friend” Meghan is painting a mural over the 4th of July weekend. She mentioned she was thinking of ideas for the mural, and I kindly suggested a well-thought out, multi-layered concept involving monkeys, robots, and lasers.

I also created a narrative framework for the idea, richly describing the outdated robots and sentient monkeys who banded together to fight the ruthless cyber-monkeys, who are like the Borg, except with more lasers and more monkey.

I also said she could add a kitten kissing a Puggle, because she likes that girly type of shit.

Her response? Non-existent! She didn’t even acknowledge my Shakespearean epic, which I wrote gratis for her, another kindness because she absentmindedly forgot to ask me for my ideas (problem corrected).

As a compromise, I asked her to add just one monkey OR robot in her mural. It can be the new “Where’s Waldo?” “Where’s Robot-Monkey?” She could earn millions. No response.

It’s really hard to watch a friend make a bad decision and be powerless to stop it.  Monkeys, robots, and lasers are the trifecta of Cool Stuff to Put in a Mural, but it appears some of us are still stuck in Plato’s cave.

But good luck with your mural, Meghan! Whatever it may be.