The McCain Hail Mary
McCain is behind in the polls and is getting increasingly desperate. What will he do in tonight’s debate to shake the race up? Possibilities:
- Fly in onto stage on a trapeze.
- Vow to kill Obama bin Laden.
- Trick Obama into wearing a patriotic, American-flag turban.
- Wear Kryptonite around his neck. Just in case.
- Deliberately mishear questions about Palin’s tenure as mayor as questions about William Ayers.
- Bite Obama, infecting him with lycantropy, and then run anti-werewolf attack ads while hoping no one asks you how you were able to infect Obama with lycantropy in the first place.
- Repeatedly employ the “I know you are, but what I am” defense. (already doing this)
- Accuse him of fathering two black children.
- Convince the audience that “one house, one spouse” is for losers.
- Sneak a Rev. Wright imitator into the audience and pay him to tell Obama, “Great seeing you at the Nation of Islam potluck last Sunday.”
- Practice ventriloquy and slip in “White people suck” while Obama is speaking.
Other suggestions?