Pancake City

I signed up for a two-day sketch comedy writing class that starts next weekend. The main reason I signed up was to force me to write a few sketches.  I haven’t been motivated to do it on my own so far.

The writing is fun but slower than I had guessed. My original goal of having 5 commercial parodies and 5 two-people sketches by Friday is going to be cut to 1-2 of each, but that’s much better than nothing.

Here is the first of four sketches. I don’t have 2-4 written yet, but four seems like a reasonable goal. Let me know what you think.

Cake I

Scene: Kitchen.

VO: Ever have this happen to you?

GUY: [walks into kitchen, grabs cake mix box off of counter] “Awesome! I could really go for some cake right now. [reads back of box] Woah! Eggs AND butter? I’m not a grocery store.”

VO: “No, you’re not.”

[Video: Hillsbury Cake box.]

VO: “That’s why we made Hillsbury Insta-Cake. Just open the box, add water, and shake. It’s that easy.”

[Video: Guy is drinking cake mix from box. His mouth is covered with chocolate mix.]

GUY: “Thanks, Hillsbury!”

VO: “Well, you still have to bake it.”

GUY: [glum] “I need a pan?”

VO: “No. Just toss the box in the oven!”

GUY: “Really?”

VO: “No. I was being sarcastic.”

GUY: “Oh. [upbeat] Thanks, Hillsbury!”

VO: “Really?”

GUY: “No. Now I’m being sarcastic!” [laughs]

[Video: Cake box]

JINGLE VO: “Hillsbury. We take the ache out of cake.”

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Cake II

Scene: Kitchen.

WIFE: “Honey, the oven’s broken. The faucet doesn’t work. And I’m pregnant.”

HUSBAND: “Great. Now how are we going to make cake?”

VO: “We’ve got a solution! New from Hillsbury:”

[Video: A large box with a handle on it. The box's nine ingredients are laid out in front of it.]

VO: “It’s Cake in a Box! Cake in a Box has every you need to make a cake, lickity-split.”

[Video: Cake box Each separately-packaged ingredient is opened and poured into the box.]

VO: “Just crack the egg. Remove the butter from the refrigeration unit. Then add the baking soda. The flour. The granulated sugar. The salt. The cocoa powder. The vanilla extract. And the water!”

WIFE: “Yeah, but how are we going to bake it? I got trashed last night and took a dump in the oven.”

HUSBAND looks oddly at wife.

VO: “Not a problem!”

[Video: Cake box.]

VO: “Each Cake in a Box is an oven. Just plug into an outlet, and in a few minutes, you’ll have a rich, yummy cake. Need cake on the go? That’s no problem with Cake in a Box’s easy carrying handle and set of European adapters.”

HUSBAND: “I know what the two of us are having for dinner.”

WIFE: [puts hand on belly] “I know what the three of us are having for dinner. Thanks, Hillsbury.”

HUSBAND: [long beat] [fake smiling, through gritted teeth] “Really? The oven?”

WIFE: “I told you not to leave the seat up.”

JINGLE VO: “Hillsbury. We take the ache out of cake.”

Cake III

MAN: [clutching belly] “Ohhh…I want cake now, but I also want to bake a cake. What do I do?”

VO: “We can help you out.”

VO: “Introducing ‘Cake in a Box’ in a Cake. [Video: A large, messy, box-shaped cake]

[Video: person eating cake off of box]

VO: “Each ‘Cake in a Box’ in a Cake is covered with a thick, rich layer of ready-to-eat cake so you can satisfy your torturous craving for cake right now. Then, after the hunger pangs die down and you regain rationale thought, you can bake a cake!”

MAN: “Yes! For the future!

VO: “The future!”

MAN: “The future!

VO: “THE FUUUUTURE!”

[long, uncomfortable pause]

JINGLE: “Hillsbury. Our cakes are filled with love! And boxes. Which are also filled with love!”