I’m (been) Back!
The post train got derailed for an extra week when I went to California. I can force myself to think of ideas, and it’s what I have to do after I don’t write for a week or two, but the act of writing sans motivation is one of those wonderful, self-empowering activities I hate doing because it makes me stop wallowing in pity and feeling down.
The thing about wallowing in pity that most people don’t understand is that the wallowing takes place in marshmallow fields on warm, sunny days where the hills are stuffed with goose feathers and you can pluck a cloud from the sky anytime you want and use it as a pillow for your naps, which are frequent and lovely.
You know what gets me out of bed some days? Cocoa Krispies. Knowing there is a box of chocolate-coated rice puffs masquerating as cereal waiting for me in a pantry in front of unopened boxes of bran and granola that I buy when I feel guilty is my version of coffee. Cocoa Krispies gives me the energy I need to march out of my front door. I then collapse on my front step in a sugar-induced insulin coma, but until then, there are a good 10 minutes where I am ready to take on all of the vicissitudes and surprises life has to offer.
I’ll be posting more this week. That’s right, in the coming days I will somehow manage to pole vault over the previous bar of zero posts per week. I will aim for the stars. Perhaps in failure, I may only reach the moon, but my spirit, our spirits, will stretch with our aim and expand merely by our willingness to grasp for a life that matches the America in our hearts, if not our own lives.
That’s right, this post is running for President! My fellow Americans, as the first blog post to reach sentience, I assure you, “I’m (been) Back!” is listening to your hopes, your concerns, your needs. I am change you can believe in, and I am boarding the Straight Talk Express, in the form of a 1 GB flash drive, so I can head directly to the White House and be ready on Day One! Or Day Two if we have to hitch hike–gas is expensive. Definitely somewhere between Days One and Seven.
There will be mistakes. There will be typos. What is sent out on the RSS feed may be different from this post a week later. No sentient blog post is free of error. And yes, my opponents will distort my words, reprinting them in hard-to-read fonts or all caps to make me look like an idiot. But together, I assure you, asdfkjhksdj
Woah. Jason here. I was in the bathroom for a few minutes. I think my roommate came it and wrote a few paragraphs. Whatever. Anyway, I’ll be posting more this week. See ya.
The Straight Talk Change Mobile o8! Vote for me in November!