“Earl Grey, hot–no, screw it. Super Size me some fries, bitch!”
“DON’T CALL ME A BITCH. I HAVE FEE-LINGS TOO.”
“Hey, you can talk.”
“I’D TALK MORE IF YOU PEOPLE WOULD STOP MAKING ME SPIT OUT FOOD SO MUCH.”

Do you know what’s most unbelievable about Star Trek? Every room has a food replicator and yet no one is fat. After a few days on the Enterprise, most Americans wouldn’t be able to fit in the turbolift. A friendly alien race would hail us:

MU’LIXX: “Captain, it is a pleasure to BY THE LOVE OF THORAK, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR CREW?”
PICARD: “Mu’lixx, it is nothing. Our crew was recently replaced by Americans, and–”
MU’LIXX: “Medical team! Don EV suits and prepare to board the Enterprise. The crew has been taken over by an alien virus that is making them bloated and sedentary.”
PICARD: “Nothing is wrong! We just put on a few pounds. Jordi is modifying the replicators to only spit out rice cakes.”

TECH OFFICER [slumped back in chair]: “Pow-dered dough-nut…”

MU’LIXX: “Medical team, prepare to beam over. Fire only as a last resort.”

TECH OFFICER: “Fryer?”

PICARD: “This is so embarrassing.”