In the lingering spirit of the holidays, I would like to offer my sincere congratulations and sympathy to Britney Spears, who married and annulled her marriage to a childhood friend last Saturday in a Las Vegas chapel. I hope their holy union can resist the pressures of the public spotlight and that the government processes their annulment without hassle. May their love be eternal and their hangovers the morning after short.
A few weeks ago, I went to a party for volunteers of Reel Affirmations, a gay film festival. I arrived, saw that they had run out of food, won a gift pack in a raffle, and left 15 minutes later. The gift pack had a “One in Ten” hat, a gray T-shirt with “Reel Affirmations”, an umbrella with the same name, and two videos from the first season of the original British versoin of Queer As Folk. I am unsure whether to keep the gift pack or sell it to an evangelical Christian who wants to infiltrate the gay community.
U.G.C: “What a downpour! Good thing I have my gay umbrella. Being that I gay, you know.”
GAY MAN WAITING AT CROSSWALK: “Mmm hmm.”
U.G.C: “So…our mission to wreck the family is going pretty well, huh?’
GAY MAN: “What?”
U.G.C “One second.” [click] [holds up purple tie]: “Okay. Yup, we sure are doing a good job pretending to love each other.”
GAY MAN: “What are you talking about?”
U.G.C: “Into the tie, please.”