Dear person who found this site searching for “who+told+you+you+could+eat+my+cookies”:

Arnold, Gray Davis told me I could eat your cookies. And guess what? Davis just passed a 47% cookie tax…on high-faluting, fancy cookies. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. Because of you, he’s a man with nothing left to use. Tomorrow: 117% increase on car models with ‘mm’ in its name. Bummer, huh? Also, if you compare tax dollars to cookies beforehand, this would make a great line in a debate: “I have one thing to say to Gray Davis. Who told you you could eat my cookies?”

Dear people who found this site searching for “mo+rocca+pictures”, “pictures+of+mo+rocca”, and “mo+rocca+gay”:

1. I don’t know if he’s gay. Really. I don’t. I checked the guidebook. He’s not listed.

2. Are you sure you’re not looking for porn star Mo Cocca?

3. Well, OK then. If you’re going to come here anyway, you might as well get what you’re looking for.

Dear people(!) who found this site searching for “poop+on+a+pancake”:

I can’t believe I’m doing this.